The reason most people are so angry, is because their pain was ignored for so long.
Anger was the only way they ever got attention and connection.
Why “Anger issues” develop:
Anger was the only way they ever got attention and connection.
Why “Anger issues” develop:
Anger is one of the most misunderstood human emotions. It’s a secondary emotion, meaning that underneath anger is: sadness, grief, and shame.
When someone is chronically ignored, gaslit, and dismissed, they become desperate for a way to be heard. They adapt and do all they can to get attention and connection.
Anger becomes the way to do this. Being loud gets them what sadness does not: it gets people to actually stop and hear them. Even if it’s negative connection, it’s still connection. Behind all maladaptive behavior is: an attempt at human connection.
You can always tell when someone has never been given the space to be vulnerable. To share their deeper feelings. The tell-tale sign: no matter what happens, they go straight to anger. Anger is their core emotion, because it’s easiest to express.
There’s another payoff of anger: it gives the person feeling it a false sense of control. They might get the room to to quiet, they get to control conversation, and they also get to avoid their own deep feelings of sadness (that they perceive as weakness)
But, the truth is, they’re out of control. Anger controls their lives. It will damage relationships, jobs, home environments, and friendships. It will cause people around them to not trust them. This only makes them more angry.
Anger issues are actually sadness issues.
And until a person is ready to face their sadness, the anger will remain an issue.
And until a person is ready to face their sadness, the anger will remain an issue.
Anger issues are actually vulnerability issues.
And until a person is ready to practice feeling uncomfortable and honest, the anger will remain an issue.
And until a person is ready to practice feeling uncomfortable and honest, the anger will remain an issue.
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