Emotionally immature parents are very hard to talk to.
It's difficult to have a direct conversations with them because they shut down or over-react.
Here's You Need to Know:
It's difficult to have a direct conversations with them because they shut down or over-react.
Here's You Need to Know:
Emotional immature parents (EIP) struggle to understand their own emotions. So, they also struggle to understand the empathize with their children. This lack of awareness can be frustrating when trying to interact with them as adults.
When talking to them honestly they might say:
- "I never said/did that"
- "You're remembering things wrong"
- "I guess I'm just the worst parent in the world"
- "Don't you remember anything good I've done?!"
- "Try being grateful"
- "I never said/did that"
- "You're remembering things wrong"
- "I guess I'm just the worst parent in the world"
- "Don't you remember anything good I've done?!"
- "Try being grateful"
Emotionally immature parents have very primitive and child-like responses to the world around them. This makes open and direct conversations almost impossible. Many adults of EIP feel hopeless and hurt that heartfelt, authentic connection can't happen.
If you have an emotionally immature parent, it's important to understand how to interact with them. And, how to set boundaries so that you can build a healthier relationship with them and yourself.
HOW TO COPE WITH AN EMOTIONALLY IMMATURE PARENT:
1. Have boundaries: EIP can be detached, critical or demanding because they don't know healthy ways to express themselves. This is why boundaries are so important. You decide when and how you'll interact.
1. Have boundaries: EIP can be detached, critical or demanding because they don't know healthy ways to express themselves. This is why boundaries are so important. You decide when and how you'll interact.
2. Manage expectations: EIP can't give their children exactly what we need. This means accepting they can't support us in some ways. By knowing this, you slowly put less pressure on you parent to be someone they can't be. And free yourself from resentment.
3. Find outside support: if you find yourself going to a parent and consistently feeling frustrated, ask yourself: "is there someone who can support you through this?" Being supported by other people makes us less reliant on our parents.
4. Avoid "hot button" topics: EIP can be very opinionated and reactive. It's best to avoid topics that cause stress and conflict. This will only drag you into past cycles. When an EIP brings up the topic, breathe remain calm and re-direct the conversation.
5. Do not insults/confront their parenting: it's perfectly valid to have any issue with your childhood. But, EIP cannot see anything wrong in how they relate to other people. If you need to talk about it, talk to someone you trust.
6. Picture them as a small child: when they are acting out, having a tantrum, or behaving in immature ways picture them as a 6 year old. This can help us stay calm and in our bodies. Remember, their real developmental age differs from their actual age.
Growing up with EIP can be very painful. There is a grieving period where you face the reality that your parents cannot give you what you truly needed. Allow yourself to feel whatever comes up.
And know you're not alone.
And know you're not alone.
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Have you experienced this?
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Have you experienced this?
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