Hey @AlFinlandi I know you will receive many messages from both Christians and Muslims, and this may not be what you typically hear, especially in this situation, but I believe it is necessary to say. There is an urge in my mind to go beyond what seems obvious now,
1/11🧵
1/11🧵
and beyond an ongoing debate about your reasons, how strong they were, and so on. In my view, that would be a superficial and fruitless approach. Instead, I want to highlight something you should consider, regardless of what faith you truly and wholeheartedly believe in.
I see in the phenomenon you are experiencing several signs of psychological and psychiatric conditions, such as religious obsessive-compulsive disorder (Scrupulosity), religious identity crisis, and even borderline personality disorder (BPD).
Many apparent symptoms of these conditions can be observed in your online interactions. Of course, you are more aware of yourself, what is bothering you, and what is causing these struggles.
I can even trace it back to what I read in your confession on how an individual shook your faith in Christianity the first time. It appears this has persistently troubled you. While this might reflect a genuine case of questioning and an intellectual pursuit of truth,
it could also be a symptom of cognitive dissonance. This ongoing internal conflict seems to manifest in persistent religious and identity doubts, preventing you from establishing certainty in your heart about any faith.
Therefore, I suggest that, instead of ignoring the possibility of these conditions, you visit a medical specialist who can help stabilize your psychological state. This, in turn, will facilitate your thinking process. I am sure that even though you have reverted to Christianity—
and, if I’m not mistaken, this is at least the third time you have switched religions—these thoughts and doubts will not cease to exist. Even if you try to ignore them, you may continue to be haunted by obsessive-compulsive ideas, leaving you without certainty wherever you are.
If you could identify the root of these issues and address them, you would have a firmer foundation to stand upon, enabling you to choose a faith that you are factually convinced of, free from personal bias or the influence of your audience, close family, and friends.
Lastly, I advise you to keep such matters private to filter out external influences that could worsen your ability to think clearly. The more you publicize these matters, the more people may dismiss you, accuse you of being dishonest, or even suggest you are seeking attention.
I don’t believe that is the case—or at least it doesn’t seem so—as I have stated my probability above.
You are now a kafir billa al-adheem, the Lord of the heavens and the world, but I pray that you are guided and, more importantly, find inner peace in that guidence and truth.
You are now a kafir billa al-adheem, the Lord of the heavens and the world, but I pray that you are guided and, more importantly, find inner peace in that guidence and truth.
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